Through my own admission, and often regrettably said with great pride, I am a lousy dresser. Lousy. My brother’s old Miller’s Outpost shirts, my old man pants, my moo moo dresses… christ have mercy (christ have mercy) lord have mercy (lord have mercy)….

I’m pretty sure that I always said/thought that those who gave too much attention to fashion, style, clothes, and all the superficial things were, in a word, dumb. But at this stage, I think I’ve proven that the one thing I was often most insecure about, my intelligence, is something I needn’t endeavor to prove any longer. I’m smart as fuck. (Thanks, Mira Costa!) And now I want to dress like a big dumb ho. 

What I’m saying is that after a certain age (and this number can be as arbitrary or specific as you please) a woman dressing like a 13 year old boy while she is NOT either A) a 13 year old boy B) a 42 year old Lesbian Trucker or C) in the midst of moving house or gardening is basically, NOT THA LOOK!

Plus, it is true what them thar etiquette peoples said: Dressing up / Dress well  Shows respect for yourself firstly and of course the company you plan on keeping for that evening or day’s event. I say my new rule is this: WEAR WHAT YOUR DRINK EXPECTS OF YOU. 

Boom. You going to a BBQ? Wear a nice picnic dress. You going to drink Martinis? Have some respect for the length of time you have to wait for that stupid Martini and make sure you’ve got glamour hands before you pick up that glass with your giant meathooks. You drinking Jack n Coke? Make sure your jeans are at least going with a sexy pair of boots. You drinking a Gin n Tonic? Put some fuckin Bobby Pins in your hair and tuck that shit behind an ornate, pretty ear. Having a nice glass of wine? Please be wearing some scented lotion at least. Or better yet, while letting the wine breathe a little, let them titties breathe and show come cleavage. My god. 

So, for me, my own choice, is that 2012 will be the Year of Enjoying Being a Girl. Yup. That’s my resolution. No more jeans. No more Chucks. No more baggy sweatshirts. 

Please don’t get it twisted, though. I’m not going to “try” to dress Mod, Retro, Pinup or any of that. Im just saying that I will wear heels and shave my legs. 

2012: The Year of the Girl who Enjoys Being a Girl.