It’s that time of year again. For you, suckas. Not me. I’m offish off ‘christmas’ this year. So while you guys scramble into this store and that market and stress over buying the perfect presents… I will be at midnight mass getting points with the big JC…and not wrapping shit for anyone.

Of course I’ll miss the fam but also, I must admit, putting on a sweet 3 pounds of chocolate and ham while watching 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS will be a bummer but not terrible. There will be another Christmas next year in 2012 (fingers crossed). 

And when I take the shitty city bus into the city, the streets are blazing hot but there are christmas decorations everywhere. To me, it still doesn’t feel like it. I mean, it looks like the Oceanside city council forgot to take down the decorations and we are having a hot July day. 

Also, the only other way I know it’s Christmas here is from those damn Target commercials. (There’s Target here but it’s TARGET. with a period. or, as they say, full-stop). 

Otherwise, I don’t quite feel the spirit of christmas. Well, I mean, there’s always the spirit of commercialism. That’s year round here in Australia. While we have Black Friday after Thanksgiving, they have Boxing day after Christmas sales. apparently the sales are sOOOOooooOOOOoooo good. I’ve missed it the last two times. I won’t miss it this year. 

Well, Merry Christmas any damn way. Christmas is a wonderful time of year in the states. While you guys are freezing your bums off, I am forced to make ice cubes for my Gin and Tonic at 9pm so I can cool off. I refuse to get into these Great White Shark Infested waters though. I also refuse to stand next to a million Elle Macpheresons in GStings on the beach. no thanks. Too many models here. F that.